It is with much trepidation I relay my plan for a family outing tomorrow. As you probably know, Cassie is planning on heading over to Italy for the balance of her Junior year. The last road block to the realization of this dream is applying for and obtaining her visa stamp on her passport. The appointment has been set, the documents rounded up and aligned, now all we need to do is make the trip.
Is it not enough that I have worked diligently to get her this far? I laugh to myself, apparently not. I will be not so fortunate to get to share the two and a half hour car ride (each way) from San Diego to the Italian Consulate in Los Angeles with my ex-husband. It is mandatory for him to be present in applying for her visa as she is under 18 and he posses joint legal custody. So when I say 'we' need to make the trip, I say it loosely.
It feels surreal, this trip we must take. As if I am paying a visit to a life I left behind so long ago. It is good, I don't feel anything. There was a time when happiness and sadness were interlinked and I was a puppet while he pulled the strings. Things are so different for me, for all of us. I am not that person any more.
The morning will come, we will get ready and embark upon our big journey....speeding toward our future and visiting our past all at the same time.
Monday, December 20, 2010
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Viva Italy!
Friday, December 17, 2010 was the last official day of my daughters Junior year in an American High School! Many many months ago, we embarked on an idea, more a dream of Cassie getting the amazing chance to spend time living in another country and attending High School there. It has been a journey, an adventure, to get to this point. She and I have spent countless hours filling out long applications, searching for scholarships to apply for, writing essays, researching programs, applying for her passport, verifying health insurance parameters and visa requirements, travel arrangements, host families, and the list goes on and on.
Alas, we are now here, at the point of looking down the barrel of her bright future. This future is one that includes traveling to New York for her international departure on January 26, 2011. She will then travel to Zurich, Switzerland and onto Rome, Italy. From Rome she will travel by train to northern Italy where she will meet her host family and be introduced to her new life! Having said this, I am absolutely thrilled for her. Secretly, I am scared to death. I will miss her beyond what words can express. She is 16 and such a beautiful person, inside and out. I have enjoyed watching her discover her own potentials, the world around her and I have enjoyed seeing the transformation and growth into the wonderful person she is today.
Although our lives can be challenging on a day to day basis with the work grind and the obligatory list of things to do, it is a joy. The opportunity that Cassie is presented with is a gift and a blessing. It is a reminder of how lucky I am too, all day, every day. Please keep Cassie in your thoughts and hearts as she begins her journey. Viva Italy!
Alas, we are now here, at the point of looking down the barrel of her bright future. This future is one that includes traveling to New York for her international departure on January 26, 2011. She will then travel to Zurich, Switzerland and onto Rome, Italy. From Rome she will travel by train to northern Italy where she will meet her host family and be introduced to her new life! Having said this, I am absolutely thrilled for her. Secretly, I am scared to death. I will miss her beyond what words can express. She is 16 and such a beautiful person, inside and out. I have enjoyed watching her discover her own potentials, the world around her and I have enjoyed seeing the transformation and growth into the wonderful person she is today.
Although our lives can be challenging on a day to day basis with the work grind and the obligatory list of things to do, it is a joy. The opportunity that Cassie is presented with is a gift and a blessing. It is a reminder of how lucky I am too, all day, every day. Please keep Cassie in your thoughts and hearts as she begins her journey. Viva Italy!
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
We are More...
We are more than what you see. I am more than a white woman. I am more than just a middle aged person. I am more than a mother, a sister, a daughter, a friend. I am more than that box, or category, that I am filed in. It is human nature to categorize people in our minds, it is how we make sense of the world. For example, my teacher, my coworker, my son, my doctor
I have been thinking about how we do that and promised myself that I would start to try and be open in my mind to all of someone's possibilities. It was brought to my attention by my daughter when she said she doesn't fit in at high school because she doesn't fit in with the basic groups. I asked her what she meant and she explained that kids are grouped based on race or activity for the most part. I had to wonder if that is true and I thought back to my high school days and I have to say that it really may have been true. Perhaps we all flock to what is comfortable and to what we know?
It is a part of life to learn to recognize each other in new and unique ways. We all have so much to offer. My daughter is more than a white girl, more than a Filipino girl, more than a gymnast, more than a student, more than a daughter, more than a sister.....
she is more!
I have been thinking about how we do that and promised myself that I would start to try and be open in my mind to all of someone's possibilities. It was brought to my attention by my daughter when she said she doesn't fit in at high school because she doesn't fit in with the basic groups. I asked her what she meant and she explained that kids are grouped based on race or activity for the most part. I had to wonder if that is true and I thought back to my high school days and I have to say that it really may have been true. Perhaps we all flock to what is comfortable and to what we know?
It is a part of life to learn to recognize each other in new and unique ways. We all have so much to offer. My daughter is more than a white girl, more than a Filipino girl, more than a gymnast, more than a student, more than a daughter, more than a sister.....
she is more!
Wednesday, December 8, 2010
Why Now?
Why now is a good question. I have often wondered myself why I am compelled to share my story, well, our story with the world. It seems when I look around at other families in our neighborhood that there is no longer a 'traditional' family. With that being said, my situation is far from traditional. Long ago, I met and fell in love with a wonderful man. We settled down together and began our own family. We have two amazing children, a daughter, Cassandra Adora, and a son, Justin Jhanex. They are amazing people and bring so much happiness and joy to my life.
Unfortunately, and sadly for my babies, things did not work out between myself and their dad and we divorced. It has been about five years since the divorce and Cassie, Justin and I are as close and as happy as ever. Periodically we find ourselves in situations that illuminate our non-traditional family setting and remind us how the world can sometimes view us. So, why now you ask?
I just want to reach out to others that may be in a similar situation. Perhaps offering up comfort and encouragement through knowing that despite the differences in our skin tones and our varying family traditions, love, understanding and acceptance prevails.
I just want to reach out to others that may be in a similar situation. Perhaps offering up comfort and encouragement through knowing that despite the differences in our skin tones and our varying family traditions, love, understanding and acceptance prevails.
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