Recently I experienced the notion of dread associated with the passing of age. I celebrated turning 40. For weeks leading up to my birthday, I was feeling out of sorts and honestly, just couldn't put my finger on it. I spent some time in my own head trying to figure out why I was feeling so upset. I then realized, it was the onset of a potential mid-life crisis because of the milestone birthday of 40 years old.
I began doing some soul searching about what my life has been so far and am I where I want to be? Am I happy? I think it is in my personality to always want more from myself in terms of hard work and results. But, at this juncture, I don't think there is a way for me to have produced more results. I have repeatedly added to my plate when it has already been full. Said yes to my kids or to their teachers or coaches because I am the one here, the only one to be able to say yes to them or on their behalf.
I looked in the mirror, and deep into my own eyes. I saw smile lines around my eyes and mouth. A few sun spots dotting my nose and cheeks. The same green eyes stared back at me that have always been there. I half smiled at myself. I can only be who I am.
I have hopes and dreams for myself and for my kids. I teach them to have hopes and dreams and to work towards these dreams to make them a reality one day. I tell them anything is possible. I wonder though, is that really true for me?
As I go through my days, I continue to ponder the direction of my life without gazing backward too much. There is no room for self doubt or a senseless mid-life crisis. Those things will have to wait until I am older. For now, I will keep on living, hoping and dreaming.
I began doing some soul searching about what my life has been so far and am I where I want to be? Am I happy? I think it is in my personality to always want more from myself in terms of hard work and results. But, at this juncture, I don't think there is a way for me to have produced more results. I have repeatedly added to my plate when it has already been full. Said yes to my kids or to their teachers or coaches because I am the one here, the only one to be able to say yes to them or on their behalf.
I looked in the mirror, and deep into my own eyes. I saw smile lines around my eyes and mouth. A few sun spots dotting my nose and cheeks. The same green eyes stared back at me that have always been there. I half smiled at myself. I can only be who I am.
I have hopes and dreams for myself and for my kids. I teach them to have hopes and dreams and to work towards these dreams to make them a reality one day. I tell them anything is possible. I wonder though, is that really true for me?
As I go through my days, I continue to ponder the direction of my life without gazing backward too much. There is no room for self doubt or a senseless mid-life crisis. Those things will have to wait until I am older. For now, I will keep on living, hoping and dreaming.