Respect

I remember back to when I was young and recall speaking to my relatives, when I would address them it was in one of two ways. I would either call them Aunt or Uncle and their first name or I would just call them by their first name. For example, my moms sisters were with Aunt Robin and Aunt Shelley or Robin and Shelley. It never once occurred to me that it was not okay to address them in this manner or that it was not respectful.

When I had children of my own, especially with the Pacific Islander / Asian influence, I quickly learned in their culture that children must address adults with respect. I was surprised to learn that there are designated words in Tagalog depicting respect for a family member older than you. The word for older girl relative, with respect, is Ate (sounds like ah-tay) and the boy relative, with respect is Kuya (sounds like coo-ya). With their fathers influence, both of my children learned to speak to adults in a respectful manner, even when addressing others in English. Adult family friends are addressed as Mr. Carlos, Mr. Peter, Ms. Joy, Ms. Stephanie. It was our own little adaptation to the lack of a designated word in the English language. This formality has continued even after the divorce, and I am glad to see it.

Respect must be earned and it always must be mutual. Yet, I think in some small way, it is important for children, at least mine, to view the world around them with a small degree of humility and with some sense of respect for those that came before them. At least I like to think they have the capacity to honor others with their words.

In a world where honor and respect appear to be on a sharp decline, and selfishness and dishonesty prevail, let one small word of respect be like a candle in the breeze. May it have the capacity to shine in darkness and may it spread, one person at a time, to help make us all better people.